I have been reflecting recently on the reasons behind why I’m often so impolite, and cynical, when it comes to issues of softball, and it seems to boil down to my expectations not being met.

I expect people to be on time. They often are not.

I expect people to act in good faith. They often do not.

I expect people to acknowledge and validate these reasonable expectations. They often will not.

In fact, they’ll get defensive and gaslight you into thinking it’s your fault. Your fault, for wanting to be on time; your fault, for wanting to play by established rules or policies; your fault, for “rocking the boat” and being “unpleasant” or “disagreeable”.

Due to these unmet expectations, I stopped trying to be nice. Some may take offense to this, but I no longer care.

What are your expectations, when you file a complaint with the league? That it is investigated. What happened? It was actively suppressed.

What are your expectations, when you file a complaint with the national governing body, to investigate an allegation for which you have undeniable, and undisputed, proof? An open and fair investigation which brings consequences to indisputable actions of wrongdoing. What happened? A conflict of interest that was acknowledged, then not addressed; a sham investigation that arrived at an incomprehensible conclusion based on no evidence with no clear explanation, along with a direct refusal to provide any when it was asked for. Obfuscation, incompetence, subversion, and negligence, meted out with an arrogance and moral superiority, that would leave a bad taste in any reasonable person’s mouth.

Worse than not being able to achieve the “bare minimum”. That’s my experience of softball in Ireland; that’s why I’m “salty”.

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not your friend.

And I’m not looking to make friends. I’ve lost quite a few over the years, and I don’t miss them. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve lost patience with people who end up being right-wing racists, Trump supporters, anti-vaxxers, or wellness/homeopathy/quackery merchants. I’ve no time for that bullshit. I’ve decided I also have no time for people who do not respect my time, or don’t seem willing or able to even do “the bare minimum” with regards to competence.

In fact, now I work to identify these people and disallow them from having any impact on my life. “Trust no one” has proven to be a good strategy. This can protect against disingenuous people; identifying and eliminating the “stupid” people is probably more important, as they can be dangerous due to the inability to predict what stupid and harmful shit they are capable of or will do next.

Why is it that reasonable people are expected to reach out to these dummies and assholes, to compromise, in order to “be nice”? They shouldn’t be, and I will not. If you perceive that as rudeness, so be it.