As the end of this season approaches, and the “annual general meeting” is slated for some time in November, there is a good chance all these people will be reinstated in some position of authority, and I do not want anyone to say “I wasn’t aware of that” afterwards… so here I am again.

A deconstruction and analysis of exactly what was written, in black and white, is useful. This is one of the few times his actions are documented, as I refused his reactive phone call. Knowing this was an important issue requiring documentation, I refused to participate informally. I didn’t trust him here, which was proven correct. In the forthcoming breakdown, I show why I was not being paranoid. In fact, there’s a term for what Alan has done: “DARVO” = Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Oppressor. It is a manipulative technique used to avoid responsibility for their actions (in this case, inaction), and to place the blame on the victim.

Let’s get into the details.

John I refer to my text to you Friday night after you didn’t take my call I have aske SL to postpone getting back to us until we resolve this within our Club.

Alan O’Rafferty, Whatsapp

*! : Alan puts in writing that he directly interfered with the complaints process, regarding a complaint that I filed (“… I have asked SL to postpone getting back to us until we resolve this within our Club.”), instructing the Softball Leinster committee (of which he is Secretary) to not act on that complaint, denying due process and abusing his position on the committee. Softball Leinster never conducted an investigation into my complaint. This is a totally successful “catch and kill” operation! Of course, a subsequent fundamentally flawed investigation by Softball Ireland found nothing wrong (more “catch and kill” success), as I filed a complaint against Softball Leinster for their inaction, while not disputing any of my allegations of misconduct (abuse of power and negligence). There is no defense for what’s clearly written in black and white, and yet it seems that nobody cares to hold anyone accountable.

You were expressly asked by Ally, Hazel and myself last week not to communicate outwards on behalf of the people involved or the team/club until we discussed this fully with the people involved and the Club Management.

Alan O’Rafferty, Whatsapp

** : This is irrelevant, as far as others do not have any right to control my response to sexual harassment in a softball game. However, this is also not a complete statement, by cherry-picking details, as it excludes me, along with team members who supported an official complaints process, but also the victim of the sexual harassment. It does present a fictional narrative. Team members were willing to participate in my complaint submission (based on my postgame interviews with players), until two members were not, which coincided with their speaking privately with an outside person. Two changed their minds, which is their right. However, “confidentiality and sensitivity” were vague words commonly paraded as reasons to not act, with confidentiality being particularly, comically, ridiculous, as in “the dozen or so people I’ve spoken to about it agree, I am entitled to confidentiality!”.

The narrative is important. This is speculative, but it fits well with the established facts: if anyone wanted a valid-sounding reason to oppose any attempt to capture this incident officially with a complaint submission, this would be it. After all, how can you argue against “confidentiality and sensitivity of those involved” without seeming insensitive? (Defining “those involved” is a big part of it; and “confidentiality” translates to “what we don’t want you to see”.) If anyone on the team could be convinced there may be repercussions for filing a complaint, and if any of those players wanted to, for example, be selected for future Irish National teams, this would be an opportunity and reason to oppose filing a complaint. Also, if there were any players who disagreed with how the team was being run, with a strict adherence to a 5-5 lineup, this would be an opportunity and reason to oppose filing a complaint. All of these things were true: the fear of repercussions, an ideological disagreement with my strict policy of gender-equal lineups, and a desire for personal advancement both within and outside the team, were the realities behind “confidentiality and sensitivity” being used as insincere reasons to oppose and undermine my position, portray me as a villain, and to force me to leave softball. Never let a good crisis go to waste; and if you’re going to be a hero (we’ll get to this in a minute), there has to be a villain.

You decided to do so by yourself despite this in the knowledge that the girls had written a letter themselves and sent it to the head of Umpires.

Alan O’Rafferty, Whatsapp

*** : This is a false statement. I was obligated to file that complaint, as team captain, based on what I was told and experienced, and within a specific timeframe. The league was required to investigate it as per their own rules (2022), again within a specific timeframe, to uncover exactly what happened. For example, everyone present at the game where the incident occurred should have been interviewed. Whatever other team members decided to do, or not, to participate or not, is not within my control (nor should it be).

I would like to call a club meeting to discus this as I feel you have completely disregarded our Club in this instance.

Alan O’Rafferty, Whatsapp

**** : You’re already in a club discussion in this Whatsapp group. Calling an in-person club meeting is fine; but without any oversight or documentation is a very sneaky and devious way to operate, especially given the seriousness of the issue. Nothing is captured, nothing is written down, and the location, time, length, and who attends is controlled. This is important. It is a form of coercion and I consider it bullying. It also continues a narrative with one person being the protector and supporter of “our Club” – the hero of the majority – whereas I am portrayed as against these things – the villain, outside “our” club. This is a subtle, yet powerful, use of terminology.

The girls have dealt with this privately and confidentially in the manner THEY wanted to.

Alan O’Rafferty, Whatsapp

***** : This is another example of cherry-picking. Who are “the girls”? I (as team captain) was explicitly excluded from their unofficial process, but most importantly, the victim of the harassment (a vulnerable young woman) was also excluded from that process. Everyone was excluded from any official process when Alan O’Rafferty interfered with my official complaint to the league. She (the victim) is on record stating she wanted a full investigation, and for me as team captain to file an official complaint with the league. How she was excluded and abused again, through the actions of members of the Castleknock Management Group, the negligence of the league, and team members objecting to an official complaints process and investigation (that is, whomever decided to unofficially “deal with” this issue) is incredible and unacceptable.

I believe Hazel and Ally are very upset by your actions so much so that they were considering leaving our club.

Alan O’Rafferty, Whatsapp

****** : Let’s be crystal clear about the actions eliciting their upset: I filed a complaint of sexual harassment, which occurred in a game where I was the team captain, when I was made aware of the severity of the incident, within the required specified timeframe, and was obligated to do so. They did not want me to file an official complaint, which was not only my right, but my responsibility. As team captain, being made aware of a serious incident, I am obligated to inform the league through the official complaints process; but apparently this upset two members of the team, not at first, but only after speaking privately with a member of the Castleknock Management Group.

I wanted to ensure an investigation was made by the league, and that an official complaint document was filed, for it to be captured on the record. None of his happened due to the direct interference by Alan O’Rafferty (and that is not in dispute).

It should now be clear to anyone reading that Alan O’Rafferty’s actions demonstrate 1) he did not want an official complaint filed, because 2) he did not want anything to be officially on the league’s record, and 3) team members no longer supported an official complaint only after speaking privately with a member of the Castleknock Management Group.

I see Hazel has left this Management Group and may even be stepping down as Co-Captain over this.

Alan O’Rafferty, Whatsapp

7*! : This statement by Alan O’Rafferty is continuing to push the narrative of me as the villain, implying it is me against women in the team (she’s leaving because of your complaint!), along with pitting me against the “Club”; he continues in his role as all-supportive and all-inclusive hero, ironically by excluding my official complaint and the requirement for a full investigation. The hypocrisy is the point, it is another demonstration of power and control.

Could we all meet up some evening as a group to discuss this rather than discussing it here?

Alan O’Rafferty, Whatsapp

8*! : The key phrase Alan uses is, “… rather than discussing it here”, and nothing to do with having a group meeting. You’re already in a group meeting; the difference is that this Whatsapp chat is in writing, and what you say is being documented. Again, Alan O’Rafferty is moving to arrange and control a meeting which will not be documented. It should now be obvious I was dealing with people operating without any interest of fairness, honesty, integrity, or good will, and who were focused solely on using this crisis to undermine any attempt at transparency, halt any investigation into the sexual harassment of a player, to prevent the official recording of impropriety by an umpire, and ultimately to bully, exclude, and alienate me and others, including the victim of the sexual harassment.