The local mixed softball league has just released the current season’s player registration data, which tracks the number of players registered for two teams in the league (I’ll explain this later), the number of player exemptions used, and a gender breakdown across the divisions in the league.

You can play for more than one team in the same league? Yes, that’s correct. A few years ago, the league committee decided it would be a good idea to allow for “dual registration”, and they did this by being cute and designating the top division (“Premier”) as a separate league. This fiction allowed for a single player to register for a “Premier” team, and then also for a team in one of the lower divisions, and play as much as they like for either team. Dubbed as “more people playing more softball”, this nonsense was quickly called out and corrected (by me, and a few others) to be “the SAME people playing more softball”. This did nothing to increase player recruitment; in fact, it has sidelined players, and has disincentivized teams from finding new players. Of course, we were shouted down for “being negative”.

The same is true of “exemptions”, which are special rules introduced well over a decade ago. An “exemption” player from another team is allowed in circumstances when a team does not have enough registered players to fill their lineup. The aim is to allow games to go ahead that would otherwise be forfeit (which itself is not entirely true, as teams can add such a player to achieve 10 players, not just the minimum of 9). The real-world result is to discourage teams from finding new players. After all, why try to introduce the sport to new players, when we can just go to the existing pool of players on other teams, and see if they want to get an extra game in?

After a great deal of moral and ethical pressure, and wanting to find some way to justify putting more rainbow layers across league logos to cash in on the pinkwashing of sport, the league finally required two of the four divisions in the league to play with gender-equal lineups. Why only half of the divisions? The stated reasons were to provide a smooth transition and not create a shock to teams who may be unable to meet this standard (it is a World Baseball Softball Confederation (WBSC) standard); the reality was there are a lot of middle-aged men who would have to sit on the bench if they couldn’t be that extra guy, and this did not make them happy. Unsurprisingly, the majority of them play in the two divisions which still allow for unequal gender lineups.

Of course, after seeing full compliance and no problems whatsoever after requiring gender-equal lineups, the league decided this would just be too much if they extended it to the rest of the league’s divisions. (Their exact, ridiculous and nonsensical wording was, “to let it settle”. What the hell is that supposed to mean? This isn’t a casserole!) So for the following season, they chose to not implement this clearly successful change to follow the WBSC standard across all divisions in the league. After all, some men might get mad, if the status quo were to change!

Now the hand-wringing continues, with this latest example of mental masturbation. Analyzing the player registration data to show how many players are registered for two teams, how many have played for multiple teams, how many “exemptions” have been used, and so on and so forth – and for what purpose exactly? I’ll tell you: for no purpose whatsoever, other than self-gratification. Requiring an equal gender split, and removing “exemptions” to play on multiple teams, in mixed slow pitch softball, should not be impacted by any superficial examination of who is playing on which teams.

Dear local softball league: stop playing with yourselves. Stop allowing the same players on multiple teams. Stop shuffling players’ names around a spreadsheet, stop making little graphs and charts, and stop pretending there is meaning to be found here. Follow the WBSC standard, require teams to have equal gender splits in lineups, and remove the unnecessary “exemptions” rules from the league bylaws. This has proven successful when it was implemented for half the divisions in the league, the sky has not fallen, and even if it upsets a few old men, it would show you aren’t only giving lip-service about gender equality, while bowing down to the patriarchy that has dominated this league for years.